Q: How do blonde braincells die ?
A: Alone.

Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
A: Buy her another beer.

Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!

Q: How do you keep a blonde busy all day?
A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.

Q: How does a blond spell farm?
A: E-I-E-I-O

Q: How does a blond kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.

Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row

Q: Why are blondes like pianos?
A: When they aren't upright, they're grand.

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like Hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

Q: What do you call a blond mother-in-law?
A: An air bag.

Q: Why do Blondes wear earmuffs?
A: To avoid the draft.

Q: What's the mating call of the brunette?
A1: "All the blondes have gone home!"
A2: Has that blonde gone yet?
A3: When is that blond bitch going to leave!?

Q: What's the mating call of the redhead?
A: "Next!"

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Q: Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips?
A: From trying to blow out lightbulbs.

Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?
A: She heard that the drinks were on the house.

Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

Q: What is the difference between Elvis and smart blondes?
A: Elvis has been sighted.

Q: What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?
A: Some traffic signs say stop.


Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a shopping card?
A: The shopping cart has a mind of its own.


Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.


Q: How does a blonde get pregnant?
A: And I thought blondes were dumb!


Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!


Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A: They're too hard to peel.


Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.

Q: How do you keep a blonde busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.


Q: What do you call a blonde without an asshole?
A: Divorced.

Q: Why do men like blonde jokes??
A: Because they can understand them.


Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?
A: Reservations.

Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.

Q. What do you call 12 blondes in a freezer?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. What did the blonde say to the doctor when she found out she was pregnant?
A. Is it mine?

Q. What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair brunette?
A. Artificial intelligence.

Q. What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
A. An interpreter.

Q. What do blondes & screen doors have in common?
A. The more you bang them the looser they get.

Q. Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
A. They don't know the route.

Q. How do you get a twinkle in a blondes eyes?
A. Put a flashlight in her ear.

Q. What do blondes & computers have in common?
A. You never appreciate either one until they go down on you.

Q. Why do blondes use whiteout on their computer screen?
A. They couldn't find an eraser.

Q. How did the blonde break her leg playing hocky with the Toronto Maple Leafs?
A. She fell out of a tree.

Q. What do blondes & turtles have in common?
A. Put them on their backs & their both screwed.

Q. What's the mating call of a blonde?
A. I' getting so drunk.


Q. How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
A. 8-- 1 to bake them & 7 to peel the M&M's.

Q. Why do blondes get tilt steering?
A. It give them more head room.

Q. What do blondes say after sex?
A. Who are you guys?