| Cats and Teenagers
For all of you
with teenagers or who have had teenagers, or are a teenager, you may want to know
why they really have a lot in common with cats:
- Neither teenagers
nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.
- No matter
what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all humane efforts are barely
adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting on them hand and foot.
- You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human
being, and it can be safely said that no teenager in his or her right mind wants
to be seen in public with his or her parents.
- Even if you tell jokes
as well as Jay Leno, neither your cat nor your teen will ever crack a smile.
- No cat or teenager shares you taste in music.
- Cats and
teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end without moving, barely
breathing.
- Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did.
- Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner, communicating that
ultimate human ecstasy -- a sense of complete and utter boredom.
-
Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone's furniture.
- Cats that
are free to roam outside sometimes have been known to return in the middle of
the night to deposit a dead animal in your bedroom. Teenagers are not above that
sort of behavior.
Thus, if you must raise teenagers, the best sources
of advice are not other parents, but veterinarians. It is also a good idea to
keep a guidebook on cats at hand at all times. And remember, above all else, put
out the food and do not make any sudden moves in their direction. When they make
up their minds, they will finally come to you for some affection and comfort,
and it will be a triumphant moment for all concerned. |
