| Language Efficiency
Having chosen
English as the preferred language in the EEC, the European Parliament has commissioned
a feasibility study in ways of improving efficiency in communications between
Government departments.
European officials have often pointed out that
English spelling is unnecessarily difficult - for example, cough, plough, rough,
through and thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased programme of changes
to iron out these anomalies. The programme would, of course, be administered by
a committee staff at top level by participating nations.
In the first
year, for example, the committee would suggest using 's' instead of the soft 'c'.
Sertainly, sivil servants in all sities would reseive this news with joy. Then
the hard 'c' could be replaced by 'k' sinse both letters are pronounsed alike.
Not only would this klear up konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters
kould be made with one less letter.
There would be growing enthusiasm
when in the sekond year, it kould be announsed that the troublesome 'ph' would
henseforth be written 'f'. This would make words like 'fotograf' twenty per sent
shorter in print.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling
kan be expekted to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible.
Governments would enkourage the removal of double letters which have always been
a deterent to akurate speling.
We would al agre that the horible mes
of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful. Therefor we kould drop thes and kontinu
to read and writ as though nothing had hapend. By this tim it would be four years
sins the skem began and peopl would be reseptive to steps sutsh as replasing 'th'
by 'z'. Perhaps zen ze funktion of 'w' kould be taken on by 'v', vitsh is, after
al, half a 'w'. Shortly after zis, ze unesesary 'o kould be dropd from words kontaining
'ou'. Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli sensibl riten
styl. After tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls, difikultis and evrivun vud find
it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drems of ze Guvermnt vud finali hav kum tru.
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