| Stupid Sports Quotes
These are actual
sports quotes said by various people throughout the world.
Oiler coach
Bum Phillips: When asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips,
Phillips responded, "Because she is too ugly to kiss goodbye."
New Orleans
Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:"I want to rush for
1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
And, upon hearing Joe
Jacoby of the 'Skins say "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt
Millen of the Raiders said, "To win, I'd run over Joe's mom too."
Football
commentator and former player Joe Theismann 1996: "Nobody in football should be
called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
Senior basketball
player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter
how long it takes." Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line
up alphabetically by height." and "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line
up in a circle."
Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as
a freshman because of academic requirements: "I play football. I'm not trying
to be a professor. The tests don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain
on stuff I haven't been through in school."
Boxing promoter Dan Duva
on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect
him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."
Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color
photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name,
I can still find my fucking clothes."
Shaquille O'Neal on whether he
had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece: "I can't really remember
the names of the clubs that we went to."
Shaquille O'Neal, on his lack
of championships: "I've won at every level, except college and pro."
Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight
Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless
of what time it is."
Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on
his team's 7-27 record: "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road.. As general
manager, I just can't figure out where else to play." (1992)
Chuck Nevitt,
North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he
appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know
if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (1982)
Tommy Lasorda , Dodger
manager, when asked what terms Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela
might settle for in his upcoming contract negotiations: "He wants Texas back."
(1981)
Darrell Royal, Texas football coach, asked if the abnormal number
of Longhorn injuries that season resulted from poor physical conditioning: "One
player was lost because he broke his nose. How do you go about getting a nose
in condition for football?" (1966)
Mike McCormack, coach of the hapless
Baltimore Colts after the team's co-captain, offensive guard Robert Pratt, pulled
a hamstring running onto the field for the coin toss against St. Louis: "I'm Going
to send the injured reserve players out for the toss next time." (1981)
Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's
football dorm had destroyed 20 books: "But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't
been colored yet." (1991)
Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints G.M., when asked
after a loss what he thought of the refs: "I'm not allowed to comment on lousy
officiating." (1986)
Alan Kulwicki, stock car racer, on racing Saturday
nights as opposed to Sunday afternoons: "It's basically the same, just darker."
(1991)
Lincoln Kennedy, Oakland Raiders tackle, on his decision not to
vote: "I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot." (1996)
Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son,
what is it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know
and I don't care.' " (1991)
Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver,
on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
(1991)
Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what
he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're
spending too much time on one subject." (1987)
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